Why Bother To Trust In Love?
Years ago, when I walked down the short aisle in the foyer of the church where my husband and I were married, I knew little to nothing about trusting in someone’s love for me. Back then I only knew about infatuation. I’d fallen head over hills for the tall, blond, blue eyed man who was as attracted to me as I was to him. But, a few short years after our wedding day, dissatisfaction replaced my infatuation.
Discovering The Essentials
Marriage was more work than I’d imagined. It forced me to think about someone else besides just myself. And communicating with someone who, unlike me, took longer to think about something, tried my patience. I believed our marriage would be better if only he were more like me. But of course, he withstood such a radical transformation.
When we’d married, I listened with rapt attention as he looked into my eyes and repeated his wedding vows to me, “To be my wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” I knew he meant those words. I’d married him not only because he was handsome, but also because I knew he was genuine. So, in order for our marriage to work, I decided I’d have to begin by trusting his love for me.
I started by observing our differences. Though he took longer than me to make choices or come to a conclusion, it was only because he weighed and considered the long term effects a particular option would have on us as a couple, and not just on him as an individual. He was being thoughtful, while I, on the other hand, was only being impatient.
Though sometimes I wanted to have a good argument to let my opinion be known loud and clear, he did not feel the need to do the same. Instead, he waited for me to simmer down and then approached the topic with a spirit of gentleness.
Jumping to conclusions, thinking the worst about him and sometimes saying it, used to be a habit of mine. He, on the other hand, mostly thought, said and concluded the best of me.
As I mulled over our contrasting personalities I concluded that I was the one who really needed to change. And I’d begin by trusting that he really did love me.
Why bother to trust in someone’s love? Love changes everything, but first you have to trust it.