Why Bother Letting Patience Have Her Way?

Why Bother Letting Patience Have Her Way?

Patience is a valued and powerful virtue. Poised individuals can calm fearful crowds—think of George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life and the scene where the stock market collapses. Everyone races to the banks and loan companies to claim their cash. Yet with absolute self-control and forbearance, George hands everyone of his customers enough money to relinquish their fears and keep the doors of his loan company open. Patient people, such as George, do not react to the fear of others, but respond with calm and controlled assurance. They do not allow clamor to reign, but instead know how to quiet the noises anxious people make. 

Though I know some people are born with a propensity toward patience, I also know that patience is a quality that can be learned.

Acquiring Patience

I admire patient people. Their perspective allows for more wobble room than that of an impatient person. Patient people don’t make excuses when someone does something wrong, but neither do they swoop in and make all things right either. Instead, they have the wherewithal to allow people to make mistakes and then stand aside to permit the natural consequences to sink in. 

A person possessing patience has enough wisdom to know that they cannot force a person to change, but their staying power is strong. They can wait for the change they hope for without giving up.  

Patience people know how to oppose impatience within themselves and with others. They apply grace, equanimity and even temperedness to every person, including themselves. Patient people understand that if they take a harsh and demanding stance against hotheaded or fretful folks, it only escalates to hotter heads, shorter tempers and angry outbursts. 

I wish patience could be learned without going through tough and trying circumstances, but it can’t. It is only when our patience is tested that we know whether or not we have any reposed stamina inside of us. 

Thankfully, patient people make wonderful teachers for those of us who are willing to learn. 

Why bother letting patience have her way? It is worth it to defer to patience since she abounds with benefits. 

Why Bother To Anticipate?

Why Bother To Anticipate?

None of us can predict our futures. And though we anticipate good things ahead for our lives, sometimes we are taken aback by how long we have to wait for those good plans to come to fruition. Our delayed ambitions are not easy to live with. They make us restless and hopeful, impatient and patient, all at the same time. To anticipate the future and wait for it at the same time is to live in a healthy tension, one that keeps us alert, attentive and ready, all at the same time.

  Good Plans

Growing up, I did not have any specific career plans, but once I was an adult, I fell in love and married. Parenting became my full-time job until my sons were grown and on their own, then I knew it was time for me to step into the workforce.  With my limited work experience, and a husband who supported my ideas even when they seemed only half baked, I decided finishing my education to be the first step of business. Returning to school as an older student had its benefits; I was not easily distracted. My focus was to complete my bachelor’s as quickly as possible. The two years were well spent and I crossed the stage with the rest of my classmates to recieve my diploma. With a four year degree under my belt, job opportunities were a little more abundant. I interviewed with the school district and became a paraprofessional, otherwise known as a teacher’s aid, at the junior high. 

Though I have friends who find great satisfaction as parapros, I knew after a short amount of time that I would not find contentment in the work. Working one-on-one or with small groups of students was not challenging enough for me and I found it boring. I knew I needed to be in charge of a classroom if I wanted to be happy in the workforce. So, I returned once again to school and two years later, walked across the stage, this time to receive my teaching certificate. 

Paraprofessional jobs were easier to find than teaching positions and for another year I remained a teacher’s aide and substitute, sometimes even doubting my choice to become  a teacher. At my age, I wondered if I even had a chance at a teaching job. Finally though, I got a call for an interview. It was not in my district, but I was willing to travel if it meant having my own classroom. 

For four years, I commuted out of district to a rural middle school and taught 6th grade English Language Arts. Those four years of traveling sixty miles a day were a practice in waiting. Every year, I applied for jobs in my district, and waited with patience. Though I enjoyed my job and my own classroom, I knew I did not want to make the commute for the rest of my career. Then finally, after my fourth year of teaching out of district, I had an interview with a rural school in my district and landed the job.

I had anticipated working in my district someday and that day finally arrived. Having the new job ended my sixty miles a day commute. Having the job I’d always anticipated ended my period of waiting. 

Why bother to anticipate? It is worth it to anticipate what it is we are waiting for. Though we do not know how long our wait will be, our patience has the opportunity to grow in the interim.

Why Bother Applauding The Patient People in Our Lives?

Why Bother Applauding The Patient People in Our Lives?

I am attracted to patient people. Their poise and composure remind me of talented musicians; both having abilities that naturally flow from a stream somewhere deep inside of them. Though I do not possess either musical talent or equanimity, my husband and a few other people in my life are endowed with the gift of forbearance. Left to myself and without these even-tempered individuals in my life, I’d be a much more intolerable sort of person to be around. 

My husband is a handsome man, but it wasn’t just his looks that made my heart flutter whenever I was around him. Rather, I sensed in him something I lacked; a calmness that was not rocked by my storminess.  

Quiet Persistence

Even before we were married, I noticed my husband’s stamina, quiet persistence and constancy in the way he built houses or cleaned the spark plugs in my car. Five years older than me, marriage was on his mind, but not mine. Uncertain I could stay in a relationship that required me to remain faithful until death parted us, I ignored his first and second marriage proposals. The third time he proposed to me, I accepted. His willingness to wait unwearied for my “yes” finally won me over. 

I am not quite as restless as I was when we first married, and I have mellowed with ages, but I know I’ll never catch up to his authentic and unflappable talent to stay steady no matter what. 

Best Friend 

My best friend Deb is also gifted with patience. She thinks before she speaks but does not roll her eyes at my blatant and abrupt remarks that fly out of my mouth. She only shares her opinion when asked and does not try to convince me of any other opinion than the one I have. When I am agitated, she stays calm and like my husband, remains unflustered by my clamor. Though she has felt the full weight of my personality, it’s never caused her to fall down with fear. Her winsome smile warms my heart and assures me that no matter what, she will always be my best friend. 

It is normal to want others to see things just as we see them, to get just as riled up as we do,  and to react just as quickly. Thinking things through takes too long and staying calm seems weak. Yet without people unlike people like myself, the world would be a worse place than it is. 

Who would have the staying power to remain unflinching before the impatient masses. Peacemaker personalities are essential. 

Why bother to applaud the imperturbable people in our lives? It is worth it because their strength withstands the fury of the perturbed.