Why Bother Being Realistic?
What is something everyone lacks and yet wishes to possess? I’m just taking a guess here, but as human beings, I think we’d like to possess full knowledge and understanding before making any decision so that we could prevent something “bad” or “wrong” from happening in our lives. I know I’m taking a risk here with this next statement but, I don’t think I am the only one who has attempted to reach toward that pinnacle called perfection only to fall down empty handed.
If only I’d known, then I would have….If only I’d known then I could have… Hindsight is 20/20, but we don’t live our lives in a backward motion. Instead, we live them, step by step, going in a forward motion. Looking back to learn from our blunder, an error in judgement or misstep is one thing. Looking back to devalue, deflate or depreciate ourselves only gives our inner critic fodder that we later hurl at ourselves. Regret, like quicksand, is an infinite sinkhole pulling us down, not forward.
But, what if we kept walking, steadily, step by step, in a forward motion, glancing back, only with the intent to gain wisdom from the blunders? What if we were to have sane and realistic expectations of ourselves and others? What if we knew that perfection was not the goal and remembered that we are human beings, not superheroes? If we live within our limits, then we know we cannot swoop into someone’s life to “fix” the “wrong” and make everything “right as rain.” Neither can they do that for us. Even at our best, we are awkward, imperfect and only guessing at which step might be the next best one to take in life.
We all possess an expiration date. Our days are numbered and time slips or ticks into the future for each of us. Though our humanness has its limitations and we cannot see into the future to prevent our next blunder, we do not lack a wide variety of opportunities to grab a hold of with each new day.
If you are reading this post, that means that today you are alive. Like me, you get to put one wobbly foot in front of the other and walk in a forward motion. Today we have the choice to laugh or cry with someone, hug or hurt someone, accept or reject kindness from someone.
None of us are any less in the dark about what lies ahead, after all, we are only human. But as humans, we have the choice to choose gratitude over morose and hope instead of despair. In doing so, we hold each other steady.
Why bother to be realistic? It is worth it to live within the realm of our humanity. After all, that is where all humans live. Sometimes we just have to remind each other.