Why Bother Waiting for Others?

 

 

Why Bother Waiting for Others?

I grew up in a household with three older sisters, two older brothers and a younger brother. Learning to share was an essential character trait instilled in all of us. None of us had our own bedroom, let alone our own private bathroom, telephone or television. Not one of us ever sat by ourselves undisturbed by the mayhem and cacophony of other siblings at the dinner table. We shared everything including the limited space in our clunky old family station wagon, and the affections from our family‚Äôs pet dog, Bubbles. In our household being left to ourselves was a foreign concept until the death of our dad who took his own life at the age of 49. 

      Private Grief

We were all at various ages and stages of development when our dad ended his life. My oldest brother was twenty-three while the youngest was nine. The rest of us were somewhere in-between. 

Though all of us were affected by this tragic event, none of us could share our grief. We simply did not know how. So, we became like silent silos on a prairie, storing away our sorrows and hiding our sadness from each other. Our grief became our own. 

Eventually, we all grew up, left home and created our own private lives that included careers, families and for some of us, healing from the past tragedy. But not everyone pursued the work involved with mending the damage from our past. Instead, some simply ignored it.

But those of us who did pursue avenues of healing benefited greatly. Our confusion gave way to clarity, our anger settled into understanding and our false guilt dissolved when we applied the truth. Our healed hearts enabled us to finally share the grief of our past with each other. 

Even though not all of us have come to terms with the wounding from long ago, those of us who have are not shy about sharing our process. We want to share our wholeness and happiness with others, so they too can get a taste of a life unburdened. But sometimes we just have to wait for healing to come into the lives of others.  

Why bother waiting for others? Healing comes, but at different ages and stages for all of us. Waiting for others may eventually lead to sharing the same joy that comes when our past is finally settled.