Why Bother to Notice When You are Peeved?
Anger is one of those emotions that I easily recognize in myself and in others. Some of the signs include; a red face, foul language, objects hurled through the air, crossing the arms in front of one’s chest, or stomping away. Some even take on the code of silence, refusing to speak.
Bad tempers are never displayed in a lovely way and can be horribly harmful. But noticing what causes our tiffs and huffs before we do any damage, can make us a little more emotionally intelligent. Ever notice what makes your blood boil?
Some people frustrate me. These are the drivers who go under the speed limit and grocery shoppers who park their cart in the middle of an aisle instead of off to one side. These incidents are fairly benign. Usually taking a deep breath prevents me from going into a mindset of road rage and making a simple u-turn to go down a different aisle in the store averts any possibility that I will display rudeness toward my fellow shopper, something I’d later regret. Most small incidents in life are easily diffused.
Exasperation on the other hand, is feeling more than ill will toward a stranger in the store or a slow driver. Exasperation is a disruptive student, one whose constant antics or chatter keeps the rest of my students from their learning. Do I see them as a threat? Most likely, since I’m very protective of the culture in my classroom. It is for scholars after all, and not clowns. Nipping the disturbance in the bud with a short, sharp reprimand usually brings everything and everybody back into balance, including me.
Finally, there is my boiling point, that particular button that liars, disingenuous people, and accusers seem to have the power to press. I am not one to get physical and hurl objects, but I’ve chucked hurtful words toward those who rile me up and turned a cold shoulder toward them.
My idiotic reaction to someone who doesn’t tell me the truth, is insincere, or unfairly reproves me is not one that I care to repeat. Lobbying ugly and unkind words or a disrespectful attitude in their direction serves as a warning; I need to have a look inside.
All too often it is easy to blame justifying my anger and hostility. Yet, I’m the one who is vexed not them. They may feel completely at ease in their falsehood, dishonesty or allegations against my character. I only have the power to change me, not them.
Like the idiot light on my dashboard that warns me when something is wrong with my car’s engine, so too anger is like an idiot light for me. My hurtful words, and less than kind attitude tell me it is time to pull over and examine what is going on under my hood.
Why bother to notice when you are peeved? It is worth it to be emotionally intelligent rather than being an imbecile.