Why Bother To Fight a Good Fight?

Why Bother To Fight a Good Fight?

Not every disagreement is worth a fight, but some issues are important enough to put forth the effort and wrestle against them. Though I’ve argued, just for the fun of it, with certain individuals over benign topics, these harmless debates never amounted to anything serious. But sometimes there are good reasons to set our foot down and sink our teeth into holding our ground for what we believe is right.  

What Constitutes a “Good” Fight

Not everything is a moral issue, and it is not my job to police everyone’s actions. But when someone threatens to infringe, overstep or violate me, well then, it is time for me to put up my dukes, even if it means a showdown with city hall.

We purchased our humble abode because of all the space that surrounded it. At the time a tree farm boarded the north and west boundaries of our property, while our neighbor’s empty field bordered the south side. It was an oasis, an ideal place to raise our family.

But in a short amount of time, our neighbors sold their property to a developer and a row of new houses popped up. Then the tree farm was sold to the city and I watched from my kitchen window as a bulldozer cleared out the trees. I was dismayed.

“I wonder what they will do with all that land?” I asked my husband.

“I heard that they’ll put in soccer fields,” he said.

“That can’t be all bad,” I remarked. 

But in addition to soccer fields, there were other plans as well. When I saw red flagged stakes just outside my bedroom window, I began to take more notice. As soon as I spotted an official looking person tromping around the area, I engaged him in a conversation. 

“What exactly are your plans for this area?” I asked.

“A parking lot and bathrooms.”

“Really?”

Now I was crestfallen. Cars out my bedroom window? Public bathrooms next to my garage? 

“You can’t fight city hall,” was all my husband said when I told him.

But his statement was all it took to light the burner under my buns motivating me to do something about this invasion. Did city hall really have a right to put in a parking lot? Could they really install public bathrooms so close to my house? Could I protest in some way?

 I bloodied my knuckles knocking on my neighbor’s doors and my voice went hoarse talking with anyone who would listen. I grunted and groaned my way through paperwork, met with city officials and enlisted the help of smarter people than myself. A determined group, having one goal—to stop public potties and a parking lot from becoming a common sight in our neighborhood, was formed.  

And our concerted effort paid off. The plans for the parking lot and public potties were nixed and instead, a pretty pathway leading to the soccer fields was built. 

Why bother to fight a good fight? Not every issue is worth a fisticuffs, but when we know someone is stepping over the line, it is time for a showdown.

Why Bother Appreciating The Differences?

Why Bother Appreciating The Differences?

I grew up under the influence in a family where the women believed it was a man’s world. Though it was never fully explained to me, I gathered from the matriarchs, males, in general, including my three brothers, were in some way greater, better and more valued than I was. When a little older and exposed to the feminist’s ideas, I concluded that somehow, men were more of a foe and a threat than trustworthy and kind. But neither of these ideas proved accurate. 

Recognizing the Differences

With my erroneous ideas about men, it is a marvel I ever married, a phenomenon to some I’ve remained married and quite a thrill to still like each other, a lot, after being together for so long. But my marriage is the very thing that shifted my false thinking about men. Subtly, slowly and gradually, while living day in and day out with my husband, the blurred perception I once held about the opposite sex, cleared. 

Being married is an intimate education, a close and in depth study teaching men and women how the masculine and feminine differ. It is a lesson that continues until death parts us, and there is no certificate awarded or blue ribbon given at the end. Lifelong learners, though, will not be disappointed. Instead we gain wisdom, understanding and feel a great amount of satisfaction in doing the required work. 

As night is to day, salt to pepper, or dry land to a body of water, men and women are tremendously different. Some of those differences are easy to distinguish. The manly, masculine and manlike qualities are what attracted me to my husband in the first place. His affirming attitude, gentle voice and kindness only added to what I already liked. My feminine physique is what mostly attracted my husband to me. 

Though I’ve known for a long time that men think differently than women, I did not experience the reality of the contrast until marriage. My ideas of how life should go included remodeling the kitchen or bathroom before building a garage. Mother’s Day was supposed to be a sacred holiday for all mothers and a day off from all duties relating to motherhood. Children should not be allowed to do anything deemed unsafe, and kept close to home as long as possible. Lengthy heartfelt conversations are needful for the soul and a good cry is therapeutic. But, this was the way I thought, not the way he thought. 

As I learned, building a garage was more important than remodeling anything inside the old house we bought. Mother’s Day was sometimes forgotten. Broader boundaries were set for our sons, and conversations kept relatively to the point were simpler. Though sometimes my husband has wept with me, crying does not make him feel as good as it makes me feel. 

Men are different from women in more ways than one way, as they should be. 

Why bother appreciating the differences? It is worth valuing the masculine and feminine discrepancies because it is our uniqueness that makes for longer lasting and loving relationships.