Why Bother To Trust In Love?

Why Bother To Trust In Love?

Years ago, when I walked down the short aisle in the foyer of the church where my husband and I were married, I knew little to nothing about trusting in someone’s love for me. Back then I only knew about infatuation. I’d fallen head over hills for the tall, blond, blue eyed man who was as attracted to me as I was to him. But, a few short years after our wedding day, dissatisfaction replaced my infatuation. 

      Discovering The Essentials

Marriage was more work than I’d imagined. It forced me to think about someone else besides just myself.  And communicating with someone who, unlike me, took longer to think about something, tried my patience. I believed our marriage would be better if only he were more like me. But of course, he withstood such a radical transformation. 

When we’d married, I listened with rapt attention as he looked into my eyes and repeated his wedding vows to me, “To be my wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” I knew he meant those words. I’d married him not only because he was handsome, but also because I knew he was genuine. So, in order for our marriage to work, I decided I’d have to begin by trusting his love for me.

I started by observing our differences. Though he took longer than me to make choices or come to a conclusion, it was only because he weighed and considered the long term effects a particular option would have on us as a couple, and not just on him as an individual. He was being thoughtful, while I, on the other hand, was only being impatient. 

 Though sometimes I wanted to have a good argument to let my opinion be known loud and clear, he did not feel the need to do the same. Instead, he waited for me to simmer down and then approached the topic with a spirit of  gentleness. 

Jumping to conclusions, thinking the worst about him and sometimes saying it, used to be a habit of mine. He, on the other hand, mostly thought, said and concluded the best of me. 

As I mulled over our contrasting personalities I concluded that I was the one who really needed to change. And I’d begin by trusting that he really did love me. 

Why bother to trust in someone’s love? Love changes everything, but first you have to trust it. 

Why Bother With True Love?

Why Bother With True Love?

One of my favorite movies is Princess Bride. The main characters, Wesley and Buttercup fall in love, are separated and then united again. At one point, Wesley’s friends are forced to drag him to Miracle Max, a wonder worker, because Wesley is nearly dead from injuries incurred from one of the king’s wicked men. Doubting Wesley is worth saving, Miracle Max asks him why is it so important to live? Wesley’s faint answer is, “True love.” These two lines motivate Miracle Max into action and of course, the main character is saved and reunited with Buttercup.

True Love

Years ago, when I walked down the church aisle on my wedding day, I knew nothing about true love. Back then I only knew about infatuation. I’d fallen head over hills for the tall, blond, blue eyed man who was as attracted to me as I was to him. But, a few short years after our wedding day, dissatisfaction replaced my infatuation. 

Marriage was more work than I’d imagined. It forced me to consider him, not just myself, when making any plans or decisions. The process of communicating and making compromises to accommodate each other tried my patience. I told myself if he could just see things my way then settling things between us would not be so arduous and time consuming. 

I seriously wondered if marriage was for me. Perhaps I should have stayed single. I weighed my options of divorcing and going home to mother or committing myself to our marriage, and I chose to commit.

It dawned on me that if our marriage were to survive and thrive, it would take more than just a positive physical chemistry between the two of us. And because I could not alter him, I’d have to start with me. I considered how I needed to listen more to his perspective and temper my anger when he didn’t agree with me. Since my personality leans more toward an idealistic mindset and his is more realistic, accepting the fact of our completely different points of view would make a difference too. As I mulled over what it took to nurture our marriage union, my infatuation grew into true love. Without it, I never would have changed and without changing, I would not have remained married. True love goes beyond the physical pleasure of a marriage union and extends to considering the other person as more important than just ourselves. 

Why bother with true love? True love is worth pursuing. It lasts much longer and goes much deeper than infatuation.