Why Bother To Stop Trusting?
To trust means to put our confidence in someone or something because we believe that who or what we’ve trusted has somehow proven to be reliable. We might place our trust in a philosophy we’ve spent time studying, or an idea for living that we think works well, or in a person we think is for us and not against us. But what if our philosophy, ideal way of living or the person we thought was on our side, all proved to be wrong? What if the system, formula, or individual wreaked havoc on our lives instead of benefiting our lives? Would we be willing to stop trusting in what’s no longer working?
Worry used to be a very motivating factor in my life. If I was not worrying, I worried that I should be. Worry, it seemed, prepared me to think ahead about all of the “what ifs,” and then curtail those “what ifs” from hatching into reality.
I vividly remember the first time that I thought worry had magical powers behind it. I was traveling with my dad from Durango, Colorado to Denver. I remember he was going to Denver to attend some kind of meeting, but why I got to go along, I don’t recall.
The winter roads were wet and snow was piled high on either side of the roadway. It was late in the evening and dark. For some reason, I was afraid that my dad might fall asleep while driving and we’d end up in an accident. In my mind I conjured up a formula that would prevent such a thing from happening. If I were to stay awake, the simple act of being vigilant would keep the accident from happening.
Hours later, when we arrived in Denver, I was exhausted, but elated. We were alive, all because I’d worried enough to keep us safe, or so I thought. But from then on, I became a true follower of worry. I believed in its power. Strange but true.
But the older I got, the more worry showed its true colors. It proved to be an awful taskmaster. I could never do enough to silence its voice. Feeling satisfaction about anything was never an option. Worry demanded that I keep my ducks in a row at all times. There were no vacations, no moments of rest, no relaxing allowed.
In addition to working overtime during the day, I also had to make room for worry in my bed at night. I’d often jolt awake, feeling like I couldn’t be caught sleeping too soundly just in case I missed thinking ahead about something.
After believing in worry for nearly a quarter of a century, I concluded it no longer held the magical power I thought it once held. It was only a fictitious tale. No one can predict or prevent the future, not even all the worry in the world.
Why bother to stop trusting? It is better to stop believing in something that is not working than to keep on trusting in something that was never meant to be relied on in the first place.